Not Any More
by cillevl
Summary: 'She couldn't do this anymore. Her Heart couldn't take it. Pretending that it didn't kill her to see them together' Chapter 2 is now up and it's complete :)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first story ever:) English is not my native language so forgive me if there is any mistakes:) Please review if you want to:) I hope you enjoy reading this:) **

**Disclaimer: The Mentalist is not mine and I do not make any money from this:) **

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**Not Any More**

She couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't pretend that she was okay, that her heart wasn't shattered in so many pieces, she couldn't even count them if she wanted to. She needed to get away from everything. From him and that woman. Everything she did hurt, not physically but emotionally. Every time she saw him with _her,_ a little piece of her heart shattered. Every time he smiled at _her,_ she felt like dying.

She had always thought that when Patrick Jane was ready to move on it would be with her. Of course, she had always doubted the thought a little, but when he said the 'Love You', she was almost sure on it. What she hadn't thought about was him starting to date other women (Other women? What was she talking about? He had never been hers to begin with). She was glad when the first dates had been bad and only went as far as two dates, but then he meet _her_. Jennifer Smith. The picture perfect girl. Long beautiful blond hair, big boobs, thin and had an, what other people called, _awesome_ personality.

God she hated her.

Oh and their relationship was doing _just_ _great_. They had been dating for a little over 6 months and were just _so_ in love with each other, they decided to move in together.  
And the worst thing was that Jennifer was nice to every other person than her. She always _accidently _bumped into her, stepped on her toes and even threatened her once or twice: 'to stay as far away from _her _boyfriend as physically possible or she would personally beat her up'.

What did Jennifer have that she didn't?

Lisbon quickly concluded that she just wasn't Jane's type. She wasn't tall and blond, she was short and petite. She wasn't supermodel beautiful, she was just ordinary. She wasn't someone you would notice in the crowd, she kind of just blended in with the others.

How many times hadn't she cried over him? How many plates hadn't she broken in anger over seeing them together? How many sleepless nights hadn't she been through trying to get him out of her head?

This wasn't fair, not at all. Didn't she deserve happiness? Had she done something wrong to deserve this heartbreak?

She needed to live a normal life, to find a man who she loved and who loved her back, to get kids and the whole American dream. She couldn't do that here, not when she constantly saw them together, smiling and acting _oh so in love_. No, it had to be somewhere far away. Where no one knew her or looked at her with pity written on their faces. As if they knew how it felt to get your heart broken, and then stamped on so many times that there was nothing left of it.

So she did what she had to do. She resigned, packed her bags, left a note and drove away.

She wouldn't let him ruin her life.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: ****Some people asked for a second chapter, so here it is. This is the finale chapter and maybe it's not the ending some of you wanted, but this is how I think it should end. English is still not my native language, so spelling mistakes are all mine. Hope you enjoy and remember to review :)**

**This is from Jane's POW. **

**Disclaimer: The Mentalist is not mine and I do not make any money from this:) **

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**Chapter 2**

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He knew he had made a mistake the second he saw the letter, which was placed neatly on her dinner table.

His morning had started like any other day. He'd woken up in his bed with Jennifer, in different sides of course (She didn't like to cuddle). He'd taken a bath, made breakfast and drove to work. It was first when he came to the bullpen that things started to get weird. The team was all sitting at their different desks looking depressed.

"Who's dead?" Jane said joking as he made his way to his couch. The smile immediately slipped of his face, when he saw the serious expression on his teammates' faces.

"What's going on? Did someone die?" He asked again, not joking anymore.

"No one died, Jane. It's Lisbon. She resigned," Cho said keeping his stone face, but a slight tremble to his voice revealed his sadness. As he finished the sentence, Van Pelt burst out crying, while Rigsby hurried over to comfort her.

"She what?" Jane asked, his face deadly pale.

"Resigned. Bertram told us fifteen minutes ago. She didn't even give him an explanation, she just told him she quit," Rigsby said, the sadness and disappointment clear in his voice.

"I have to go," Jane said quickly and ran out of the bullpen, making his way to Lisbon's apartment. He had to see for himself, he had to talk to her. She couldn't be serious about this quitting her job thing.

He couldn't believe this. He _refused _to believe it. Lisbon couldn't just resign, this job was her life. And definitely not without talking to him about it first. They were friends, hell they were _best friends_. Didn't best friends talk to each other before they randomly resigned over the night?

Okay, maybe he hadn't been the best friend in the last couple of days, hell he hadn't even been a _good_ _friend_ for the last couple of months. Everything was just so confusing and new with Jennifer, that he kind of oversaw her. He started to miss their weekly ice cream meeting to spend more time with Jennifer. They didn't eat anywhere just the two of them anymore, because Jennifer easily got jealous. Lisbon always told him that it didn't matter, but maybe it meant more to her than he thought it did. Now that he thought about it, he had been a _really_ bad friend (if you could even call him that anymore). He never listened to her anymore or asked her about her life. He only talked about himself and his life.

When he arrived at Lisbon's apartment, he quickly picked the lock and went inside. What he saw surprised him.

Nothing. He saw absolutely nothing. No furniture, no pictures on the walls, nothing. She hadn't just resigned, she had packed her things and _left_. She was gone. He couldn't believe it. Now he couldn't even explain his actions to her.

After a few minutes of stunned silence, he finally noticed the letter sitting on the dinner table.  
It was a simply white letter with _Patrick _written on with black marker.

_Dear Patrick_

_I'm truly sorry to do this, but I can't take it anymore. _

_When you read this, I will hopefully be far away. _

_I've been thinking about doing this for a very long time. To just back my bags and leave, but something kept me here. You. It was you and the little piece of hope that you feel the same way about me as I do about you. I guess I was very wrong._

_I'd always thought that you and me would end up together in the end. When Red John was long gone and you were ready to love again. I hadn't expected you to start dating again. I was happy when the first dates went bad, but then you meet Jennifer. You started to push me away and didn't want to do anything with me anymore. We used to have our weekly ice cream meeting, but now it only happens once every second or third month. _

_I tried to pretend it didn't hurt, but it does. So much. _

_What I'm really trying to say is that I love you. Have from the moment I met you and probably always will. That's why I must do what I do. I can't stand to look at the two of you together, happy and laughing. So I have to do what makes me happy. I have to think about myself this time, not about how others will feel about this. I have to be selfish for once and think about myself. _

_I've decided to run away and leave everybody behind. I've changed my name and my phone number, so don't try to contact me. I can't live a happy life here, not with everything that happened and still happens. _

_But don't worry about me, I'll be fine. _

_Go out and live your life. Be happy. If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for me._

_Yours truly _

_Teresa _

Jane starred at the letter in his hand. She ran away, because she loved him. Because she couldn't stand the thought of him with another woman.

And the worst thing was that he loved her too. Maybe he hadn't figured it out before reading the letter, but now everything was clear to him. The pain in his stomach, when she went on a date or the way she could make him smile without trying to. Jennifer couldn't do that. Now that he thought about it there were so many things that Teresa could, that Jennifer couldn't.

He didn't love Jennifer. He loved Teresa. No, he_ loves_ Teresa.

But now he would never get to tell her. It was his fault that she was gone and he couldn't do anything to get her back. The letter slipped from his hand and fell down on the floor, as the tears started to stream down his cheeks.

This time he had really lost her and she wasn't coming back.


End file.
